I closed a show yesterday. After 7 weeks of rehearsals, we had 3 preview shows, then a 5-week, Tues-Sun run. This particular show was unique in that is was actually a three play cycle running in rep with itself, so our last two Sundays were marathons - Part 1 at 2pm, Part 2 at 5 pm, and Part 3 at 8pm. All in all, a fairly standard run for a small but well-attended SF Bay Area theater. It was fun, rewarding, unique (definitely some stories that will get write-ups someday), and as is to be expected, I'm completely exhausted.
Yesterday, halfway through the marathon, a local director I know happened by and chatted with me for a moment, mentioning that he would be emailing me soon. This was, I'm sure, in reference to the fact that we've been email back-and-forth about me stage managing for his company sometime in the upcoming season.
Today, I got a message from the production coordinator of another local theater company who I know through a stage-managing friend, mentioning that some SM slots have opened up in their season.
"That's great!" I hear you say. "In this economy it's fantastic to be wanted for what you do and have possible job offers lining up!" You're right, it is. It's great that I'm at a point where I'm known for being a good SM, and where people will both A) recommend me for jobs, and B) hire me on the strength of recommendations. That is, in fact, how I got the gig I just closed: they lost their original SM right before rehearsals started, one of my actors from over the summer recommended me, and as the running joke went, they didn't even ask to see my resume, just my schedule. So yes, I'm thrilled that I'm getting job offers.
Trouble is, I'm really tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally - I am really, really tired. The thing that is the worst for me about working a show is that it leaves me with very little time for the stuff I'd like to do that is not immediately on a deadline or making me money (like writing, sewing, eating chocolate, playing the stupidly addictive Marvel Avengers Facebook game, etc.) So whenever I hit this mini-lull between the close of one show and the start of another, my knee-jerk reaction to people asking me to book up more time with SM gigs is basically "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
And then I get over it and make rational, grown-up decisions, but still.
See, the issue here, as best I can tell, is entirely one of time management. I know lots of stage managers who work full-time day job and run shows, and still have time to go out with friends two or three times a week, enjoy whatever their hobbies are, AND get a functional if not adequate amount of sleep every night (which is the real kicker). Obviously I'm doing something wrong, and I think it's got to do with time. But is it not managing the time well, or do I actually have too much on my plate? It's a tricky one.
Plus, there's my least favorite consideration: the fiscal one. In my area, at my level, it is not possible to earn a living wage as a stage manager. That's fine, it is what it is. But it means that if I ever want to not live with my parents, I will have to either seriously up the ante as a stage manager (like, get to be top-level AEA and land some sweet rep or touring job), or more likely, I have to be able to get that living wage from somewhere else, like the aforementioned day job. That's possible. Most every stage manager I know has an office or retail job in addition to stage managing. But, the more hours you have to work to make what you need to live on, the less free time you have for anything but work...and we circle back around to my initial problem.
But the weirdest part of any of this ramble is that I constantly have to ask myself "Do I like stage managing?" because obviously if I don't, I should stop. But I think I do. Do I like it as much as I like writing plays or directing - no. But it's a differently kind of like anyway, it's the kind that fulfills my not-quite-OCD and my type-A personality, rather than serving as my creative outlet.
So, here I sit in the mini-lull between shows. I'll check my email regularly this week and return whatever messages I get. I'm going on vacation, so I should get some time to write and hopefully reregulate my sleep cycle. And while I do all that, I'll ponder the bizarre nature of time and stage management and try to figure out how to tell when I really need a break and when I'm just being a wuss.
